RIGHT AGING July 13, 2020

A generation ago, during youth camps and young people’s bible studies, one of the most famous study topics was the second chapter of the Apostle Paul’s letter to Titus.  It’s like a bucket of cold water to the heat and passion of youthful energy and a sobering reprimand of a young person’s recklessness.  In it we were taught how to act properly as one grows in life and in the faith.  This is not to say that as a believer, one acts ‘de-numero’ or just act prim-and-proper while in church, because more than appearing holy in front of brethren should have been the person with more integrity when in the company of the outside world with people who do not share our faith.  Sadly, not a few of my peers, and even I myself, did not follow it strictly and to the letter.  It is a tall order indeed, but I realized that as one grows older, each of these instructions become easier with experience, with failures, with pain and suffering, with persecution, harassment, insults and heartbreak, and with humiliation and comeuppance.

The first verse sets the seriousness of the whole theme.  The great apostle said that Titus, even as a young believer, should speak of these things that are sound doctrine, or good and worthy teachings.

The second verse starts with the traditional heads of the family and community: the mature or aged men, who should be sober (not a drunkard), grave (seriously living life and not taking his responsibilities for granted), temperate (have self-control), sound in faith (strong, not wavering or doubtful or weak in his relationship with the Lord), in charity (generous, not stingy or selfish or a miser), in patience (not driven by pride or greed or have poor anger management issues).  They are to set as prime examples of the home, the church and the community.

The third to the fifth verses lay down the responsibilities of women, how aged women should behave, and what they should teach the younger women.  Older women (like a certain secular song’s lyrics, “act your age, mama…not your shoe size…”) should act according to their age, in behavior be holy and decent, not false accusers or gossipers (time to break free from the stereotypical ‘old wives’ who tell tales), not given to too much wine (like aged men, have self-control), teachers of good things.  Young women also must be taught to be sober, to love their husband and children (if they have), but in all cases to be discreet, chaste (holding their femininity and womanhood with respect and honor), keepers of home (even if they may not be good cooks but at least, they should try to keep a clean and peaceful home), good, obedient to their own husbands (if they have, otherwise, they have to depend on themselves, be independent, think for themselves and learn how to defend themselves well, and still act properly and decently).

The next three verses are directed to young men, who should also be sober-minded, should be an example of good works to others, should not be corrupt, be serious and sincere, of sound and mindful speech, so that they may not be ashamed by what careless or irresponsible words they may say.

The succeeding couple of verses are for servants or workers, who must be lawfully obedient to their masters or employers, not rebelling or complaining unreasonably, not purloining or abusing the trust of those who employ them, so that the name of the Lord may not be brought to shame, should a believer be known as somebody who cannot be trusted even with little or no supervision.

A common thread of all these teachings on good manners and right conduct is the attitude of sobriety, or in other words, self-control and mindfulness.  Indeed, as a believer, one must always be mindful of one’s thoughts and motivations, words and actions because it shows our true character.  We can crack jokes, but there are jokes that are appropriate, fun and wholesome, without hitting below the belt or insulting or making fun of somebody, especially that person’s perceived weaknesses or insecurities or inadequacies.  There is a proper and modest way to dress and act by oneself, so that people will not look at one’s physical attributes or whether one has reached a certain standard of beauty or price, but which shows the inner self, whether that person is filled with wisdom, grace, substance and inner peace.

The last five verses of the chapter speaks of the reason why a person must act rightly, or in good character.  Verse 11 says that “the grace of GOD that brings salvation has appeared to all men.”  Regardless of our gender, regardless of our age, our race, skin color, educational attainments, status in life, we are all recipients of GOD’s mercy and favor.  But this grace can only be manifested and made full use of in our lives if, according to verse 12, “we must deny ungodliness and worldly lusts (the fleeting passions and fashions of this world), that we live soberly (that word again), righteously and godly, in this present world.”

Humanity has proven time and again that in cases of crisis and tragedy, our evil and baser nature oftentimes rise to the surface.  But this shouldn’t be, because such cases can only happen for one who do not have hope, those who do not know what greater things are in store for us when we persevere.

And as GOD’s people we should keep in mind that, as in verses 13 and 14, we are to be constantly “looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great GOD and our Savior Jesus Christ; Who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto Himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works.”

My generation was so engrossed in trying to be unique, but most of us fail in that aspect because I realized that by our own efforts, we tend to go the easy way and still come out as part of a nameless herd with a crowd and mob mentality, subject to the sway of every new thing that might not even be beneficial for us.  For one to truly stand out, is for one to live soberly, mindfully, and step back from the surge of the crowd of life, which goes to nobody really knows where.

I realize that each step of life’s journey, one must act his or her proper age, so there can be no confusion about our identities and our roles in the family, in society, and in GOD’s greater plan for us.  These may be difficult to accept for many, because it entails responsibility and a little bit deeper thinking, but the last verse of the chapter should give us some encouragement, when the apostle said, “Speak of these things, and exhort, and rebuke with all authority.  Let no man despise you.”

In youth, we can speak and we can make mistakes, and my former teacher said the beauty is that we can get away with it.  But it comes with a responsibility of learning, so that we don’t make the same mistakes again.  In old age, we are expected to know more, to understand more, to act more properly and decently, to be more credible and trustworthy, to be more financially and emotionally responsible and accountable, and to be more peace-making rather than argumentative.  Indeed, these are things we need to seriously work out for, the things that necessarily come with right aging.